The late, great evangelist, Billy Sunday, is credited with saying “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” A general rule is that mothers and grandmothers in the home are the glue holding the family together. There are exceptions but most often it is the women. My evidence is purely anecdotal. When my mother died over three years ago, a life-long friend said to me “your mother loved you ferociously.” He had watched her love, protection, and behavior toward me and Caroline, my wonderful sister, for over 50 years. I had to agree with him. A multitude of memories could be shared from my earliest days right up until she passed on to glory and those memories are great sources of joy for me these days. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for us if it was within her power, always for our betterment. I don’t mean this next statement with any disrespect at all but that’s what she was supposed to do.
The women in the Bible that God gave children celebrated that blessing of being a mother and took their office seriously. There were some evil, demonic mothers in the Bible that no Christian woman should ever glean from such as Athaliah, Jezebel and a couple of unnamed women who ate a child in II Kings. But the overwhelming majority of Bible mothers are women who loved their children, doing everything within their power to protect and provide for their “heritages from the Lord.” For the blog today I thought I’d cherry pick some not so obvious responsibilities mothers bear biblically, most of which are sorely lacking these days even among Christian families. Here’s five big ones.
1. Respect should be demanded. It was much more important for my children to respect their mother and me than to love me. You are the boss! A family isn’t a democracy. In our home it was a benevolent dictatorship. Kindness was everywhere until it became hammer time. Certain things would bring sternness but a contempt for mother was dealt with swiftly. The children are to honor but the parent must teach that from the earliest days. There is no greater office than that of a mother. The highest privilege in the biblical times was to be a mother. Women longed for that blessing. Our culture often denigrates the position of motherhood, pushing the young women to become CEO’s and Presidents of Corporations as though that is the highest calling they ought to achieve. Biblically that’s not so. Buying into that lie has cost millions of young woman joys beyond anything they have ever felt in a board room. My mom worked when I was a child, so this isn’t about mother’s staying home, but there was never, ever a doubt that the first priority was her children. Those two children would be cared for but respect was always demanded.
2. Making the home a place of comfort and contentment. Isaiah 66:13, “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” The Lord used the picture of a mother comforting her child to say to Judah you will be comforted also. A mother’s touch, a mother’s hug, does wonders for children. The gentleness’s and mercies of a mother are felt in ways that a father can’t always pull off. Our homes should be places of peace, solitude, and contentment.
3. Self-Control is a huge part of being a biblical mother. Titus 2:3-5 is a wonderful instruction for the ladies in building their families. “The aged women (think grandma’s and older church ladies) likewise, that they be in the behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” The home is the place where everything is laid bare. The faults and failures are seen more regularly at home than anywhere else. Living a life of self-control and following Bible commands sure goes a long way in making a difference in a child’s life. We ought not make them places of fussing, fighting, and hypocrisy.
4. Children need discipline! Much to dismay of diluted grandparents, all children have sin natures. We don’t have to teach a child to do wrong; it is innate. Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Various offenses call for various disciplines. Some are harsher than others but if a child is never disciplined, that child will wreak havoc on those around him. I probably don’t need to write this for most of you but I am certainly not referring to child abuse. Over the years I have seen pictures of children beaten with boards and fists by a parent. When I say discipline that isn’t what I am referring to but “a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame.” I have heard it said often that being a father is much more than being one-half of the DNA that made the baby. True! It is also true that being a good mother is more than giving birth. Mother’s and Father’s ought to actively be involved in their kids lives, correcting them early and often.
5. Kind Words Always. How many times are we more kind and patient with total strangers than we are with those we say we love the most? Proverbs 14:1, “Every wise woman buildeth here house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” There is a way to build and a way to destroy. Words can do either! If you keep reading in Proverbs 14, verse 3 says, “In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride; but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.” How you speak to others, including your children, says much about you. Paul, when dealing with the young Christians in Thessonalica said, “But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse (nursing mother) cherisheth her children.” It is normal for mothers who have just given birth to hold the baby close, being very gentle, speaking soft words perhaps even singing lowly to the baby. Hard words can crush a child’s spirit. One of the greatest lies ever taught to people is “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Words do hurt and harsh words have driven families apart for thousands of years. Be kind.
If your mom is still with you, celebrate her and let her know. If she has passed, enjoy the memories if she was a godly mother. If you are a mother, seek to be the absolute best one you can be. The children will rise up and call you blessed one day. My space is gone.